戴爾‧卡內基先生的30條溝通人際關係原則中，第一條就是：不批評、不責備、不抱怨。抱怨會讓我們陷入一種負面的生活、工作態度中，常常在他人身上找缺點，包括最親密的人。不抱怨的人一定是最快樂的人，沒有抱怨的世界一定最令人嚮往。
卡內基溝通與人際關係30條準則
Dale Carnegie’s 30 principles成為更友善的人Become a Friendlier Person
1、不批評、不責備、不抱怨。
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2、給予真誠的讚賞與感謝。
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3、引發他人心中的渴望。
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4、真誠的關心他人。
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5、經常微笑。
5. Smile.
5. Smile.
6、姓名對任何人而言，都是最悅耳的語音。
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most
important sound in any language.
7、聆聽。鼓勵別人多談他自己的事。
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8、談論他人感興趣的話題。
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9、衷心讓他人覺得他很重要。
9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
使別人贊同你的想法
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
10、唯一能自爭辯中獲得好處的辦法，是避免爭議。
10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11、尊重他人的意見，切勿對他說：你錯了。
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “you’re wrong.”
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “you’re wrong.”
12、如果是你錯了，立即斷然承認。
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13、以友善的態度開始。
13. Begin in a friendly way.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14、設法使他立即說：「對，對。」
14. Get the other person saying, “yes, yes” immediately.
14. Get the other person saying, “yes, yes” immediately.
15、多讓他說話。
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16、讓他覺得，這主意是他想到的。
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17、真誠的試圖以他人的角度去了解一切。
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
18、同情他人的想法與願望。
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
19、訴求更崇高的動機。
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20、將你的想法做戲劇化的說明。
20. Dramatize your ideas.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21、提出挑戰。
21. Throw down a challenge.
21. Throw down a challenge.
指正他人而不引起反感/成為領導者
Be a Leader
Be a Leader
22、凡事皆以真誠的讚賞與感謝為前提。
22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
23、以間接的語句指出他人的錯誤。
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
24、先說自己的錯在哪裡，然後再指正他人的錯誤。
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25、用問問題來取代直接的要求。
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26、一定要顧到他人的面子。
26. Let the other person save face.
26. Let the other person save face.
27、只要稍有改進，即給予讚賞。「嘉勉要誠懇，讚美要大方。」
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
28、給他一個他願意全力追求的美譽。
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29、多多鼓勵。要讓他覺得這錯很容易改正。
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30、使他覺得照你的意見去做會很開心。
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
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